we have pet lesbian snakes
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
