Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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