He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
