Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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