yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
