i don't like sucking hair
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
