What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
