Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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