Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
