boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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