let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
