Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
