it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
