i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
