Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
