You made me cry and you don't even care
What a fucking waste of an outfit
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
