how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
