I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
