if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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