I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
