i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
