This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
