'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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