i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
