and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
