are you still at the devil's house?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
