I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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