the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
