this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
