I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
