butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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