i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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