put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
