I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
