I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize