Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
