dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
