No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
