I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Terrible idea I love it
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
