so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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