I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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