my sisters under your porch take her home
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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