I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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