Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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