There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
