She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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