My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
