Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize