oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
