I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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